In the last of this Vice Grip series, this one focuses on the Head Triad- types 5, 6, 7. The heart (2, 3, 4) and body (8,9,1) type newsletters are in the Enneabites series.
5- avarice
This passion is directed at holding onto whatever the Five deems is necessary. This can be time, resources, affection, energy and more. In the grip of avarice, Fives feel a lack of abundant and available inner resources.
In the grip of avarice, some behaviours you might see are:
- Erecting firm boundaries around availability
- Difficult to verbally or spontaneously participate in meetings
- Keeping an objective stance even in emotionally focused exchanges
- Keeping a tab on how much energy expenditure is occurring for each activity
- Difficulty forging deeper relationships
Questions to ask yourself if you see yourself exhibiting any of the above behaviours:
- What do I worry about if someone comes in too close?
- What do I believe about finite and infinite available resources?
Suggestions for loosening the grip of avarice:
- Come as prepared as you can to a meeting. AND choose to speak early in the meeting about what you are doing.
- Aim to know/research 10% less than you would habitually do. What can you do with that extra 10% of time.
6- fear
This passion focuses on a myriad of targets including the unknown, people, and oneself. In the grip of fear it can paralyze action or conversely move to action quickly in order not to feel the fear. It often takes the form of anxiety and scenario planning in order to feel safe.
In the grip of fear, some behaviours you might see are:
- Doubting the intentions of others, especially leaders
- Troubleshooting and pressure testing everything for what could go wrong
- Difficulty quieting the mind
- Overly doubting yourself
- Assertively or aggressively challenging yourself to action
Questions to ask yourself if you see yourself exhibiting any of the above behaviours:
- Who can I trust? Who has my back?
- What is good, positively possible in this situation?
Suggestions for loosening the grip of fear:
- Include body-based activities in your routine such that you actually feel your body flexing, moving, breathing. This is connecting you to more than your mind.
- Time box the amount of time you think about a problem. Choose one option and tell someone or act on it.
7- gluttony
This passion is directed at experiencing all kinds of positively stimulating experiences. This may be directed at many different experiences at the same time (starting a construction project, getting a puppy, training for a marathon) and it may be that whatever is consuming the attention, it is deep and expansive. It is a passion for pleasure.
In the grip of gluttony, some behaviours you might see are:
- Enthusiastically starting something that is filled with hope and optimism
- Difficulty completing that project once it becomes boring or something else more stimulating arises
- Difficulty staying in hard conversations without putting a positive spin or finding a quick solution
- Wanting to avoid negative emotions in self and others
- Planning for the next adventure, excitement, or positive engagement
Questions to ask yourself if you see yourself exhibiting any of the above behaviours:
- What could I be avoiding inside by focusing on the positive?
- Who might I be letting down?
Suggestions for loosening the grip of gluttony:
- Make a commitment to yourself- I’m not going to take this on until ‘this’ is done. I’m going to finish this project by ‘this date’. I’m going to be curious about this person’s world and not try to make it better. As examples. Write it down in a place that helps you stay accountable. Or have an accountability buddy.
- Engage in behaviours that keep you in the present– focus on your breath, look into a person’s eyes and take them in, take your shoes off and rub your feet on the ground, use your 5 senses and really take in your surroundings.